And the results are in......or going to Plan C

I sat in my sunroom, waiting for the phone to ring, letting me know what those awesome machines have found. Finally I received the call from my nurse navigator, Amy. She opened my results as we chatted. Moments passed as the computer froze up and she had to reboot. In desperation she went to another computer and tried another pathway into my results. Meanwhile my heart was pounding, I could hardly breath. I leaned my head back and said a prayer.

Finally the computer cooperated and we were in business. The news was a little good and a little bad, unfortunately. On the wonderful note, I DID receive my NED from my brain MRI! This is the best news of the year. The four spots previously seen have been resolved. I breath a huge sigh of relief knowing that at this time, my brain is free from cancer. Thank You God!!!!! This makes me smile.

However, some nodules in my lungs have grown and smaller ones have formed - all this since November. An area of bone has gotten better but another area has gotten worse. There are a smattering of other suspicious spots in that general area. Clearly, the Tarceva is losing it's effectiveness. SIGH.

I really really hoped to be on Tarceva for many years....and even get to the place of not needing it at all.....as we talked about in my last doctor appointment. But this is not to be my story. Thursday I will meet with Dr. Oyer to talk about the next treatment plan. First line of treatment got me 17 months of good health. Who knows what the next will do? Possibly many more.

I have not lost hope. There are a number of newer drugs that I can take as well as immunotherapy and finally chemo. AND, Tarceva was not my healer. Drugs and immunotherapy and chemo are not my healer. GOD is my Healer. I'm looking to Him for guidance. His Presence is life to my bones and healing to all my flesh.

This is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it. Oh sure, the tears are once again close to the surface. But I will continue to love, do life, pull weeds, float in my pool, make coffee, babysit my grands, laugh.

Thank you to those who have prayed for us this past year and a half! Please continue to speak to God on our behalf :-). I don't know how I would have made it without your support. We are asking God for complete wholeness, that the cancer is rebuked in Jesus name, for wisdom for Dr. Oyer and us, for financial provision. For PEACE in the journey. For a heart that looks outward from my pain and says, "God, how can I be Your ambassador today?" After all, isn't that what life is all about?

Looking Inside.....on getting an MRI

Taking a look inside.....that's what will be happening for me this Friday morning. I've not had a complete chest and abdomen scan or brain MRI since near the beginning of this journey. After 18 months of outwardly seeing great results and miraculous health, it's time to take a peak inside so see what is really going on. I've not been in a hurry to get scans. But it's time. Cancer survivors call the emotions leading up to this "scanxiety". It's the unknown AGAIN. Waiting and wondering. Being hopeful and yet uncertain. The pictures will show. AT LEAST we have the capability to see inside today, right?


Outwardly, everything appears to be good, normal. But that was the case before my diagnosis and yet the cancer was quietly spreading throughout my body! I was eating healthy foods and exercising and still it was moving from my lung to lymph nodes, bone and brain! The only way to get an accurate assessment is to look deep inside. Prayers would be greatly appreciated! I'm hoping for a miracle of NED. No Evidence of Disease.

That reminds me of the work that God's Word does for our spirits! It's easy to be doing the right things outwardly. Look good. Act appropriately. And yet inwardly a cancer of resentment....unforgiveness....hidden bondage....jugemental attitudes.....can be spreading quietly, taking over. Replacing the good with ungratefulness. Peace with worry (my daily struggle). Faith with fear.

In this day of many helpful books, podcasts, videos, and blogs :-), our time can be used up. The Bible can be left on the shelf. Unread. And yet, truly, it is the ONLY God-breathed book. This book is ALIVE and filled with TRUTH. This book can somehow reach deep inside, and like the brain MRI I'll be getting, take an accurate picture of what's REALLY going on inside. AND, it not only says "this is what's going on" but it provides a remedy for the issues that are exposed.

"For the Word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart." Hebrews 4:12

I don't want to get these CT scans and MRI's more than absolutely necessary. BUT, I need the clear inside picture of my heart daily from God's Word. It's the only way to grow and become the person God created me to be, living my moments to the fullest.  Free. Forgiven. Healed.