Party Time!

I had it all planned out.....this next post was going to be about the posture of a raised fist. But that will have to wait.....

Today is my 8 month survivor celebration. I have been feeling better once again now that I'm on a higher dose. But we always yearn for confirmation, don't we? I don't trust my judgement about my breath. At my last doctor visit, Dr. Oyer noticed that the fluid level had increased a tiny bit from before which is why we increased the dose. Since then, the side effects have increased slightly, the feeling of pressure has decreased and my hope for more days on Tarceva has grown. Today I had a chest xray in preparation for my doctor visit on Thursday.

In these 8 months, I've received one phone call from my doctor. This was in the early part of my journey. He called to tell me that they thought I had the type of tumor that could be managed. He said the words, "we can make you well". They have done that. What a surprise to answer the phone this afternoon and hear his warm voice with the wonderful news that, indeed, my lungs look good and I remain in REMISSION. What GREAT words!

Energized, I lugged the trash to burn down to the corner of our yard that overlooks a patch of woods. As the smoke rose to the sky I raised my hands towards heaven, palms wide open, much like the winners of a race in the Olympics. I clapped my hands and the trees of the field echoed my praise. I danced and jumped and shouted and clapped and clapped some more.

This is not the end of my journey. But this is today. And I will rejoice and be glad in it. Today is a day for celebration. For thanking God for all of the wonderful moments I've experienced these past 8 months. For the fact that Tarceva is available, that I had the type of cancer that this manages. For thanking each one of you who read my wondering thoughts on this blog, who say a pray to our Father on my behalf, who have loved and supported our family in so many ways. You know who you are. THANK YOU!!! I am in this party mode because of your efforts and the awesome grace of God.


My newest theme verse is from Philippians 1:18b-20:
"...and I will rejoice,
for I know that this will turn out for my deliverance through your prayers
and the provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ,
according to my earnest expectation and hope,
that I will not be put to shame in anything,
but that with all boldness,
Christ will even now,
as always,
be exalted in my body,
whether by life or by death."

This is my prayer....no matter what happens. I want Jesus to be glorified through my life on this earth. I have failed more times than I care to remember....but HE never fails. I've tripped and fallen short many times but HE never has given up on me. He will never leave us or forsake us. And I take great comfort in knowing that He will give me the strength to glorify Him and not be put to shame as I walk this journey. To God be the glory, great things He has done!

The needed adjustment

Good morning, unseen friends! It's a glorious late summer morning and I'm once again ensconced in my sunroom looking out over the meadow and listening to worship music and the song of birds. How I wish that the peace I feel at this moment would always surround my heart and mind. But, in all honesty, I'm in constant need of adjustments.....

I was approaching my last doctor visit when the pressure in my core began to be a bit more noticeable once again. So I wasn't surprised when Dr. Oyer told me that a bit of the fluid had returned to my lungs. This is an indication that my medication isn't as effective as before. It's a fact, Tarceva can work for a few months or a number of years. Of course, I'm praying for the latter!!! We decided to increase my dosage to a happy medium between where I was and where we started. And so that has begun. I'm tolerating it fairly well. It was a needed adjustment.

When I awaken and feel a familiar twinge in my shoulders and neck for several mornings in a row, I know a chiropractic adjustment is needed. Last week this was taken care of and once again I am free from that restriction. A needed adjustment.

The most challenging adjustment, of course, is with my attitude! All too easily I slip back into self pity and sadness over the life that I had before the diagnosis. Yes, on the outside I'm active and back to "normal". But the process of getting my attitudes and heart and mind where they need to be is an ongoing task. I'm sure the same is true with all of us. We don't need to be facing a life threatening illness to struggle with attitudes of pride, selfishness, judgments, fear and offense. These can't be fixed with a simple pill or once and done treatment. 

As I walk this journey, these simple things have helped me:
~GOD'S WORD....don't wait till you're hanging on the end of your rope to fill your life and heart with these precious words of life!
~MUSIC....old hymns, new tunes reminding me of who God is, who I am, where I'm heading, what is really important.
~FAMILY and FRIENDS....knowing that we are being covered in loving prayers means the world to Jerry and me; games and laughing with family; kind co-workers; cheerful emails; cards; everyday moments of making applesauce and watching babies.
~CHOOSING TO REJOICE....There is always, always, always something to be thankful for.

"...giving thanks at ALL times for ALL things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God,even the Father...."  Eph. 5:20

This is possible because I KNOW......
"God causes ALL THINGS to work together for GOOD to those who love God...." Rom. 8:28

All times, all things. This requires much needed and ongoing adjustments.....

So do Your work, O God,
in our lives and hearts and minds
so that Your kingdom may come
and Your will be done in our lives
as it is in heaven. 
Yes, and amen.