The Two-Edged Sword (& a Scan)

He looked at me, shaking his head, as he said, "You know, I'm actually glad to be on this journey." He's six months into his journey for his life and facing radiation treatments. It was his first Sunday to join us on the worship team since that life-changing diagnosis. We shared a knowing smile.

"Yes, I can say the same." (sometimes :-/) I have learned more about God, received more from Him, been blessed by my caring community more than ever before in this short (long?) 30 month time span! I'm grateful to be here. Exactly here.

In awe he said, "It's a two-edged sword! If I look behind, it cuts me. But if I look ahead, it clears the path." Such profound words! Those of us with difficult issues in our lives will understand. This Two-Edged Sword of Adversity! When I look behind, when I think of "what might have been" or even dwell on the mistakes and sin of my past, the sword cuts deep, bringing more pain. If I turn to the side, comparing my journey with others, the sword injures me. BUT if I look straight ahead to the life that the Father has provided for me through the sacrifice of Jesus, the sword clears the weeds away and shows me the path of life. Removing the weeds reveals hidden rocks and thorns that are laying in wait to trip me up and cause me to stumble. Removing the weeds shows me the places in my soul that need redemption and healing and newness.

Such a huge part of healing is to walk free. Free from unforgiveness. Free from anger. Free from offense. Free from worry. Daily free. Moment by moment free. This blessed Two-Edged Sword of Adversity cuts through the weeds of bondage to show me the freedom available to children of God.

"So, if the Son makes you free, you will be FREE INDEED."

 John 8:36 NASV

"So if the Son sets you free from sin, then become a true son and be UNQUESTIONABLY FREE!"

 John 8:36 TPT

"Let me be clear, the Anointed One has set us free - not partially, but COMPLETELY AND WONDERFULLY FREE! We must always cherish this truth and stubbornly refuse to go back into the bondage of our past."

Galatians 5:1 TPT

The question isn't IF but WHEN....when you are holding the Sword of Adversity in your hands, what will you do with it? Self pity and fear and anger will only do more damage. But a grateful, FREE hand grasping the sword can tear down strongholds in your life and the lives of others.

This is why I write. This is why I've put my journey out there. Not because I always hold this sword of cancer in the proper way. But it's my desire to make this Sword of Adversity count! To declare that we all struggle and need redemption and healing. And that HE has given us freedom. Here. Now.

My recent scan shows a beautiful image.....STABILITY. The good Dr. Oyer has declared me in SOLID PARTIAL REMISSION!!! I'll take those powerful words and continue to try to make the most of each day. The cancer on my liver and spleen are gone. My bones look like there is no active cancer there. My lymph nodes look clear. The only place of slight concern is a few small spots on my lungs. (Brain MRI in November.) I'm so grateful! And so I will focus on his words and God's words over my own insecurities and fears, my daily reminders of this Two-Edged Sword that is in my hands.

Thank you to each one of you for reading this blog, your encouraging words and prayers. Thank you for giving me motivation to keep on keeping on. You have held my arms up: My family, my dear friends, those I meet in the grocery story and coffee shop. My Black Rock Retreat family. My church family. Those whom I have never met face to face and yet we are connected. Thank you. May God reveal to us all the areas where we are living in bondage and give us hope and courage to live FREE.

Beneath the Sand

It was a glorious beach day. My sister and I were stepping gingerly on the hot sand as we made our way to where we would set up camp for the day. Looking down, I spotted three beautiful seashells glistening in the sand. But when I picked them up, I saw that they were broken,chipped, flawed.

On the outside, the part of me that can be seen looks whole. My hair has a lovely curl, my skin is tanned and clear, my smile quick. Friends say, "O you look so good! So healthy!" But on the inside, my body is fighting a battle with the deadly lung cancer. Thanks be to God, we are experiencing victory at this moment. At least, I think so. I'll know the "State of my Health" at my next scan, quickly approaching.

The appearance of  the shells was misleading. Our outward appearance can be deceiving. What really matters is what is below the surface, deep in the hidden places, under the sand.This applies to the health of our body as well as the health of our souls and spirits.

How easy it is to portray ourselves as strong, together, victorious but inside be crumbling away with fear, anger, unforgiveness, insecurities, sin and guilt. Jesus said of the Pharisees (the spiritual looking people of His day), "You are nothing more than tombs painted with fresh coats of white paint - tombs that look stunning and beautiful on the outside, but within are found decaying corpses full of nothing but corruption." Matthew 23:27 The Passion Translation

No matter what we seem like on the outside ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. ALL of us like sheep have gone astray and turned to our own way. We ALL have hard battles. But God has caused the iniquity and brokenness of us ALL to fall on Jesus as He endured the cross. We ALL need Jesus to bring His healing touch to every part of our beings. He has provided WHOLENESS for the me that you see and the me that nobody sees!

"He put upon Himself our weaknesses and CARRIED AWAY our diseases and 

MADE US WELL."

Matthew. 8:17 The Passion Translation

I don't just want to look healthy! I want to truly be filled with life and health and peace....even in the middle of hard battles and disappointments and pain. So today I'm bringing my sin and brokenness and fear and stress to the foot of the cross where Jesus provided a way of escape, a way of victory. For sure, this is a life long process and I'm so grateful to have been given TODAY to surrender to Him and walk with a thankful heart in this season.That's my job (as my two-year old grandson told his mother). My future and the upcoming scan? Well, that's His job to handle.

"But we THANK GOD for giving us the victory as conquerors through our Lord Jesus, the Anointed One. So now, beloved ones, stand firm, stable, and enduring. Live your lives with an unshakable confidence. We KNOW that we prosper and excel in EVERY SEASON by serving the Lord, because we are assured that our union with the Lord makes our labor productive with fruit that endures."

I Corinthians 15: 57, 58 The Passion Translation