My current treatment is to take a targeted therapy pill each day and make the most of this gift. My last scan showed that I'm in partial remission. My next scan will be an MRI of my brain the day after Thanksgiving. If all is clear, I'll have another CT three months after that. I'm praying for many more good months on this medicine. The reality of it is that no one knows when/if it will stop working. I'm grateful for this healing that I'm experiencing TODAY. But, always in the back of my mind is the unknown tomorrow. The only known is that all of us must one day walk through the valley of death. This is not true for just cancer survivors but for ALL.
Like Frodo standing on the banks of the shore and knowing that he is meant to get on board the ship to another world, I hope to hug my loved ones, look deep into their eyes as we say, "I'll see you later.". But as I'm taking that step into the unknown, to look back with a smile on my face. I want to go "out with joy and be led forth with peace". But that day is not today. TODAY I have the opportunity to live, love and worship. Today I celebrate this breath. I celebrate 60 years of God's faithfulness and lovingkindness for this flawed and selfish woman.
God in His mercy has allowed me 33 months so far since diagnosis. Each month I celebrate that gift of time. Time to go to the beach. Time to lead worship. Time to love my family. Time to work. Time to rest. Time to journal and pray and grow. Precious time with my five Grands. So, depending on your perspective, 60 may seem so old or it could seem young....or squarely in the middle of middle age. The bottom line for me is that each day is a gift from God. A blessing to be used to honor Him and love others. I don't want to waste these precious and few moments worrying about the future or stewing over the past.Let's start each day practicing mindful forgiveness. This opens the channels for God's love to pour in and through us. GOD LOVES YOU. He has forgiven you. All that we need, our deepest desires, are fulfilled in Him.
"God said to me, once and for all, 'All the STRENGTH and POWER you need flows from Me! All the LOVE you need is found in Me.'" Psalm 62:11,12 TPT
"With tender humility and quiet patience ALWAYS demonstrate gentleness and generous love toward one another, especially toward those who may try your patience." Ephesians 4:2 TPT
"Oh let those who fear the LORD say , 'His lovingkindness is everlasting. The LORD is for me; I will not fear.
The sound of joyful shouting and salvation is in the tents of the righteous....I will not die but LIVE and tell of the works of the LORD.
This is the day which the LORD has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it.
Give thanks to the LORD for He is good, for His lovingkindness is everlasting." Psa. 118 TPT
Father, please forgive me for failing You time and time again. I love you because You first loved me. Today I receive the strength, power and generous love that You have available to me. I choose forgiveness. I choose life. I choose joy. I choose YOU. May my life be used by You to reflect Your lovingkindness and quiet patience. In Jesus' precious name, AMEN.
