Avoiding a plane crash.....

After a good amount of time flying along at a healthy altitude, my little plane decided to take a nosedive. I've had no major turn for the worse. The big C-monster is still in it's cage....but the cage is still in my room. At times I feel it's cold breath on my cheek or hear it's raspy whisper of impending doom in my ear. But it's the little foxes that are nipping at my heels that have sent this fragile vessel heading for a crash.

A lingering pain from an extended cold/cough caused fear to return to my pattern of thoughts. Focusing on the fact that since my diagnosis I've had some kind of pain or irritation going on in my body brought weariness. The short days, lack of sunshine, the cold. The upcoming Christmas holiday and remembering last year and how clueless I was that my life was about to change forever brings sadness. Struggling to do the everyday tasks that used to bring joy.  It's a little foxes that are stealing the grapes. The sweetness of my present life!

Yesterday was my 11 month anniversary as a cancer survivor. Jerry and I were chatting and he mentioned next Christmas. I started to cry....consumed with the thought that I might not be alive next Christmas. His words were exactly what I would have told anyone in years past! Yes, I would "be alive"! I might be here on this earth or at an even better place with many loved ones.  But I would most definitely be alive. I believe this to the very core of my being. I don't even like to say of my Grandma in heaven, "she WAS the sweetest person I knew"....because she still IS! His words began a change in my heart and mind. Helped to turn this plane upward once again. Encouragement from others gave gas to my sputtering engine. I don't want to ruin today by worrying about tomorrow. That is NOT trust! That is NOT God's best for me....or for you.

So what scripture have I been clinging to this week? How about John 3:16? 
"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whoever believes in Him SHALL NOT PERISH but have EVERLASTING LIFE." This is real, folks. This is where the rubber meets the road. I shall not perish.

Oh sure, "My heart and my flesh may fail (this will happen to everyone until Jesus returns), BUT GOD is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26

So once again I'm declaring that God is my strength for THIS day. I may have to rest more than before, that's ok. I may have to shed a few tears. Not once have I felt condemned from my Father for those tears that He's storing in my rather large bottle! This is not the journey I would have chosen. But it's where I am and I will rejoice and be glad because His mercies are new for this day and He has given strength for this day. As we enter this Christmas week, I want to treasure each moment with my loved ones and hold them near. Not out of fear but out of gratitude and the desire to make the most of each opportunity. I can't keep the foxes from circling around me but I will keep them from stealing my sweet grapes of joy. None of us know what the future holds and that can be daunting at times. But we do know Who holds the future. Yes, that's a popular line from a song....but it's still TRUTH. I will hold to that TRUTH today. And this truth will keep my plane flyin'!