But until then.....the dichotomy of life.

It was a peaceful Sunday afternoon. I had just returned from a dedication service for our precious twin grandbabies. I was feeling good, strong, healthy....physically. Emotionally, however, I was wrestling again with my mortality. You would have seen me looking through the obituaries in the Sunday paper. How easy it is to glance through those pages with an aloof attitude. But on this sunny day I was specifically noticing the ages of those listed. Of course, there were many people in their 80's mentioned. But I was saddened by the amount of people who were in their 50's and 60's....as well as a few even younger. I thought of the families, the goodbyes, and tears. I am feeling my own mortality so much these days, of course. So many people's lives on earth have been cut short. No one wants to be one of them! I certainly don't! And even people in their later years often don't want to leave this world behind. It seems too soon! But no one will avoid this experience - until Jesus returns! Why does it still shock us and bring us to our knees? Because we are created for eternity! We are eternal beings! When this life ends, a new life begins. For believers in Jesus, a wonderful, new, awesome life beyond compare. Though I believe this with every fiber of my being, holding on to the peace it brings is a hard fought battle. 

I'm not ready to shed this earthy life just yet. And so, I've asked God for a certain amount of "healthy years". If He answers my request, it will truly be a miracle. And I have promised to give Him all of the glory and honor and praise and to declare His faithfulness wherever I have the opportunity. BUT, if He does not answer this request I will STILL declare His glory and love to all who He brings across my path during whatever time I do have before I leave this mortal body for the glorious immortal one.

Recently I was really struggling with fears and used my "phone a friend" option. This former hospice nurse came to my sunroom and listened and assured me that my feelings were completely normal, that I wasn't having a heart attack. Yes, it's amazing what fears can do!!! God used her that day to restore me to hope and comfort. She shared an experience she had while sitting by the bedside of a dear friend in her last half hour of life on this earth.

As she was holding vigil with her friend, she was given a glimpse into the doorway of heaven. She saw an excited group of people gathering and laughing and exclaiming to each other, "Cheryl is coming! Cheryl is coming! Cheryl is coming!" For some of us, perhaps the thought of a quiet entry into heaven is most reassuring - just a peaceful embrace with Jesus and sitting by the "glassy sea". But for others, this picture is the most fun, enticing, comforting vision of what our homegoing may be like! How awesome to know, that we know, that we know that a party awaits us in the next life....filled with Jesus and love and laughter and friendship and joy beyond all measure.

It may seem like I'm talking out of both sides of my mouth. Yes, both side of my heart, actually! The one side is very much struggling with the idea of unhealthy cells wreaking havoc in my body (though I believe the Holy Spirit and Tarceva are putting damper on that), of my own departure of this life way, way too soon. The other side is rejoicing in the knowledge that this life is not all that there is, that all WILL be well, that eternity is a glorious reality that our human minds simply can't comprehend. And so today I'm going to a counselor to help me sort out those thoughts and learn how to live with this dichotomy. I'm thankful for this opportunity to grow and become strong and learn how to better walk this journey. One day at a time.

I love this comment from D. L. Moody! "Some day you will read in the papers that D. L. Moody of East Northfield, is dead. Don't you believe a word of it! At that moment I shall be more alive than I am now. I shall have gone up higher, that is all, out of this old clay tenement into a house that is immortal - a body that death cannot touch, that sin cannot taint, a body fashioned like unto His glorious body." Yes, Mr. Moody. YES!

Will you sing this old song with me? (Until Then by Stuart Hamlen)

"My heart can sing when I pause to remember
A heartache here is but a stepping stone
Along a path what's winding always upward
This troubled world is not my final home.

The things of earth will dim and lose their value
If we recall they're just borrowed for a while
And things of earth that cause this heart to tremble
Remembered there will only bring a smile.

But until then, my heart will go on singing
Until then, with joy I'll carry on.
Until the day my eyes behold my Saviour
Until the day God calls me home.

Today....will you join me in "carrying on with joy"???