Intentional Gratitude

Yesterday I spent the first part of my time at the Cancer Center meeting with a chaplain, Katie. I wanted to meet with someone who isn't a part of my life. To pour out my concerns and questions and struggles....and faith, once again. I wanted to hear her say that the things I'm experiencing are normal and to be expected. She did. But she also had good input. The main thing that sticks with me is that this journey can be a lot like being in a desert where there are no pathways, no trails. Katie recently spent a week in a hermitage in the desert. Alone. She commented that walking involved a lot of unplanned detours. We are used to trails and pathways. However, many of us have found ourselves in the desert with no map or trail guide. or GPS! We are in a place where we would NEVER have expected to be....never wanted to be. With that comes grieving and sadness and anger and confusion. You know what I mean!

The second part of my time at the Cancer Center was with Dr. Oyer and his awesome team. After my exam, I was SO happy to hear his assessment that I am recovering from a nasty virus, that the Tarceva is doing it's job, I'm handling the side effects well, and that I'm "on my way to remission". What blessed words!!! They filled my heart with joy....but a subdued joy. Sadly, if Jerry and I have learned anything in the past three months it's that there are very few straight paths on this cancer journey. I pray that mine is straight for a looooong time. Dr. Oyer is expecting that since I will not see him again for 6 weeks! Please God, may it be so. It was our 35th wedding anniversary.....a bittersweet day. As we said goodnight I whispered, "next year will be better". Please God, may it be so.

But this morning was a new day. My mentor texted me strong encouragement to "give thanks through it all"....even FOR the experience. "Thanksgiving is truly our biggest sacrificial offering. Every surrender with thanksgiving really counts." WOW, what a challenging way to start my day. It reminded me of several scriptures that speak of this and stirred faith in my heart.

So, here's what I'm saying......with the help of All-Mighty God; Jesus, the Prince of Peace; and the Holy Spirit empowering me.....this day I declare that the season of mourning is ending...the season of intentional rejoicing and thanksgiving has begun. Please God, may it be so. I am not promising that there will be no more tears, no more lamenting. But I choose to walk in thankfulness and gratitude. "Gratitude heals", (thank you, Loretta!). Honestly, I am not at a place where I can thank God FOR the diagnosis. But I want to obey Him....follow His GPS......

Rejoice always,

pray without ceasing;

IN everything give thanks,

for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus!

1 Thess. 5:16

And as an awesome affirmation I received a card in the mail today with this encouragement:

But let all those that put their trust in Thee REJOICE,

let them ever shout for JOY,

because Thou defendest them,

let them also that love Thy name be JOYFUL in Thee.

Psa. 5:11

If you experience moments of grieving, give yourself grace because our Father does. But will you join me in this Thankfulness Journey? It doesn't matter if your pathway is clearly marked with sunshine and daffodils or is dark and steep. IN everything give thanks. It's a sacrifice that reaps benefits of growth and joy and peace.

He who offers sacrifices of thanksgiving HONORS ME.        

Psa. 50:23

And isn't that what we really want to do with our lives? Please God, may it be so!