Sunshine and Shadows

After days of clouds and rain and damp skies, the sun is kissing the meadow on this beautiful evening. It's been a busy day filled with grandchildren and I'm thankful to have these precious quiet hours here, in my sunroom, in my "soft clothes", and with thankfulness in my heart.

A few minutes ago I curled up in a chair on my deck, feet tucked under me, large brimmed hat on my head, a smile on my face. The meadow beyond our yard has trees, a creek meandering through, pasture, blue herons, peaceful cows and an occasional cat creeping by (much to Jerry's displeasure!). Tonight the sun was casting shadows across my view. The stark difference between the sunshine and shadows is a vivid picture of this life.

We've all experienced both in our lives. And I won't even attempt to understand the "why's" behind the shadows that many of us have walked through. "Yea though I walk through the valley of the SHADOW of death, I will fear no evil."  I'm thankful that we experience only a shadow of death....because Jesus has conquered death and the grave. Eternity is real. Eternal life is not a shadow...it is GLORIOUSLY FOREVER,

I saw Doctor Oyer again today.  The purpose was to see how I'm doing on the medicine, Tarceva. I've been taking it about 10 days now. The 'shadow' of this pill is the rash that makes me look like I am a teenager once again and some discomfort/itch on my scalp as well as a loss of appetite and minor digestive issues. This is a small price to pay because the 'sunshine' of the pill is that I AM GETTING BETTER!!! I am on my way to remission. THANK GOD!!!! I was feeling a lessening of the symptoms but it is beyond wonderful to receive confirmation from the doctor that I am indeed on the road to health.  Tarceva may be a daily part of my life till I leave this world. That is ok.  I'll take it and be grateful. Tarceva is limited....God is unlimited. I'm blessed to have both on my side on this sunny evening.

My journal page yesterday was called Sunshine and Shadow and featured Psalm 43. I was torn between the sadness of my heart and the thankfulness I knew I should be feeling! This passage so poignantly combines our responses to the difficulties and joys of our lives. Since this chapter is a prayer, I've felt free to change some of the wording to express my heart on the cloudy yesterday:

Vindicate me, O God, and plead my case against an ungodly nation;

 O deliver me from the deceitful and unjust man - CANCER-.

For YOU are the God of my strength....I KNOW You have NOT rejected me.

Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?

 O send out Your LIGHT and Your TRUTH, let them lead me; let them bring me to Your holy hill and to Your dwelling places.

Then I will go to the altar of God, to God MY EXCEEDING JOY (the gladness of my joy)

 and upon the lyre I shall praise You, O God, my God.

Why are you in despair, O my soul and why are you disturbed within me???

HOPE IN GOD, for I shall again praise Him, 

the HELP of my COUNTENANCE and MY GOD.

Thank you for your prayers and support as we walk through our shadows and celebrate days of sunshine. Please pray that I will be able to find a balance with the side effects and that the Tarceva and the Holy Spirit will continue to bring health to my mortal body (Romans 8:10,11). Sunshine or shadows....wherever you may be walking at the moment, God wants to be the help of your countenance, your exceeding joy. May His peace enfold you and His love overtake your heart, in Jesus name. Amen.