Corral of the Broken

Our young Amish next door neighbors had just moved in.  Their horse was not settled and somehow got out of his stall when his owners weren't home.  Glancing out my window, I saw a frantic horse running through my yard and went out to see if there was any way that I could catch him. I knew it was impossible when he looked at me with a wide-eyed, terrified look in his eyes....and continued running. The horse eventually made it safely back to his new home (with the help of other Amish neighbors) but I will never forget that wild and confused and fearful look in his eyes... like he was pleading with me and asking me where he was and how he got there! I know that feeling well.

I've been wanting the right words and analogy to somehow communicate how I felt in the days after the diagnosis....perhaps others feel the same when their world as they've known it comes to an end and a major shift occurs. Earlier this week I was taking a walk with the twins and the wind was whipping through the fields, pushing us along the beautiful country road.  I was reminded of  the time I spent in Chincoteague Island many years ago during the annual Pony Swim and auction.

I think we all are like an untamed pony running wild and free, feeling the ocean spray as we run through our lives and enjoying the breeze and sunshine. Every now and then, we come upon "the corral of the broken". Inside that corral we see other ponies...ponies looking out through the fence with eyes of sadness, resignation, fear, confusion, questions, determination and faith. I've seen them. I've prayed for them, served them, loved them, grieved with them.  But, I've not BEEN them.  Until now. I've been taken from the run of life and put in the corral of the broken. I'm still me....but I'm looking at life through eyes clouded at times with those overpowering emotions. No matter what direction my life takes, I am now an official member of this corral. And I feel a kinship with the others beside me. It's a place no one wants to be....but where life circumstances take many of us. Brokenness can be a powerful thing in the hands of a mighty, loving God. I am inspired by my friends who are fighting their battles with God's help and are serving and loving, in spite of limitations. My friend, Leah, is slowly gaining strength back and is thanking God for the mercies of each new day. Merv has suffered so many changes in his life due to a major health challenge. He has blessed me so much by adding me to his prayer list and doing battle with me! We are surrounded by wounded each day. I guess I want to challenge us to see our broken brothers and sisters from God's perspective, as His children, as people of value and worth. Don't be afraid of us. Speak words of hope and grace. Give a hug, a smile. Reach in through the fence and let us know that we're not alone. And to those of us in that corral.....let us not forget that ALL are broken in one way or another. To be human is to be flawed and needy. Some of us can cover that neediness with wealth or beauty or "importance". Our God "heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds". Jesus came into our world to "proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free." What a blessing to have a Father who not only reaches in through the fence to touch our brokenness, but has burst through the gate and proclaimed freedom to ALL! In the realm of the spirit, we CAN be free to honor God, serve Him, love for Him, praise and worship Him. This is my desire....and yet....today I didn't follow these challenging words and went the other direction when I saw a broken woman a few aisles away in the store. My own hurt was clouding my eyes too much at that moment. God help me, I have so much to learn!

Today was a bit of a challenge with pain as a constant reminder of my new location in this corral. My eyes may have had a passing moment of "Where am I and how did I get here?" panic in them. There were tears of grieving over my former life outside of this corral. But I received the long awaited news that my medicine, Tarceva, is being delivered TOMORROW.  Thank God!!! Not a moment too soon. I am so ready to begin this new step! I have so much to be thankful for. And that's what I'll think of tonight when I close my eyes to sleep.



Thank you, Father, for loving each of your broken children. For putting your arms around us in our moments of pain and joy and grief and triumph. May our lives reflect this love and compassion to all we meet. Thank You for providing a way for us to thrive as we grow closer to You....no matter what circumstances we find ourselves in. You are a good, good Father and I'm loved by You. This is enough for now. Amen.